Fast Car
I was making calls for this NGO i volunteer for when one of the people i was calling put me on hold and there it was..the song i had long forgotten. Fast Car by Tracy Chapman..i promised myself i would go home and look it up on the net and possibly try and hear it. And I did. That song is associated with my alevel days. The confusing time when i was shy, starting-to-get-philosophical, starting-to-make-guy-friends (after having been in an all girls school for a long time) and just plain confusing. And one day me, and three of my art class mates had gone to paint a fellow classmate's ceiling. Yes, she had a new house and a new art studio which she asked us to help paint.Perhaps her inspiration came from Sadequain's ceiling in frere hall...who knows. But there we were painting a ceiling! it seems so exotic and faraway now. Me, the shy lonely little person having this art gang and us painting a ceiling! we were listening to H's cassette (the only guy who had agreed to come) and thats where i first heard FastCar. What i realized yesterday was that i had not bothered to 'hear' fast car, the lyrics i mean. It was just cool to agree it was a good song, in a non-confirmist, non-popular sort of way. H always did listen to these 'alternative' songs. he was an avid fan of Marylin Manson too. But FastCar's lyrics mean so much more to me today when i understand what chapman is singing about...

You got a fast car
And I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
We won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living

and it ends with..

You got a fast car
And I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving

i didnt know shit when i heard that song and pretended to enjoy it for its "depth" . what about h? was he pretending all those times when he acted philosophical and aloof? and r and s and m all of them...living in the rich suburb of karachi, applying to universities abroad, having access to any and everything...is it good to be clueless as adoloscents? or to be aware? or both? but isnt it worse to fake being so politically aware and philosophical?

Having said all that, i do have great memories of my art class. I wish i had done better than a D and then maybe i wouldve stuck with it for longer..