Richmond Hill

I have to go to another "gathering" today...in about half an hour in fact.. its such a strange, ambivalent mixed thing to go to this part of the city - one because we need a ride and two, because of the people. But i think one is more important. I never knew i was such an ego maniac...but i guess i am. I mean so what if someone has to pick us up? what if i have to show that i am oh-so-grateful to them for doing this? i can just see myself an hour from now in the backseat...feeling that strange gundi feeling...that im obligated. All this because of not having a car...sigh who wouldve thought.
The interesting thing is it makes me reflect on how we treated people in khi who didnt have cars..most of the people we mingled with did but this one particular family related to my mum comes to mind who didnt. Very very nice people..they used to come in a rickshaw and i remember the last time they came - they got so much stuff for us.."chewra" and other condiments people of southasian origin who've lived in africa make. Anyways so these people were really really genuine and nice and my mum is quite close to them..but there was an element of "pity" in how i saw them.. i almost dont want to say pity, but really thats what it was...or maybe sympathy. And thats why being in their shoes here makes me squirm...the last thing anyone want is to be pitied.
but it is a mixed thing because when i go to these places, there are people i genuinely like and its nice to feel a part of something..even if it is a group of people that look and speak like you (relatively) yet the pity part overshadows the shortlived momentary satisfaction
kher dekhte hein..