so many times i sat typing here, crying for the streets of karachi...missing home...thinking about my family. today , for the first time, i am sad about toronto. i am holding the tears....because i think im being overdramatic. i wanted this . i cannot cry now that i have it. because what does that mean - that i want to stay....? i know i dont want that. but then am i deliriously happy to return home? i find myself hesitating to say yes...because home can be a relative term when you leave home to build a home elsewhere and spend 4 crucial years doing just that. then returnto your original home. will i go there and think about these toronto nights as i think about the karachi moon here? the subway, the trips to the library, university, work, walks, the clear air, the lush green area behind our building, the energy of yonge and bloor, the theatre, the bus....will i miss it? it is work the gamble is it not?