interesting week ive had - I was at one point during this week, this close to getting my wish (to go home) granted and what did i do? I hesitated. here i am going bla bla bla bla karachi bla jana bla hai bla. and when the decision to go to karachi is close to being made, I recede. That's me! more talk less action. I worry about the meaningless job, the people there that care little about me but that for some reason, i think will be affected by my going. S knocked some sense into me - yeh tum ko bhool jayaingay aur tum in ko. why the hell do i care so much? why the hell do i make my role larger and more important than it actually is? where do i figure in the great scheme of things ? little crevice of nothingness.
yesterday was interesting. me , s and the other person from work went down to gerard and bought some "ethnic" pakistani stuff for the event. its always cool to go there. Seeing desis with crisp american accents - there is something there- an element of i-recongnize-you, you-are-like-me - when i really dont. :P I think in my warped complexed mind, these people figure as "it" and i feel i am "it" - amalgamated, canadianpakistani and cool- it. had some good biryani and tried in vain to find a shop that sold "pakistani" stuff and not indian. Although personally the boundaries for me are completely flimsy. I think alot of indian stuff passes for pakistani and vice versa. But we looked. And there was one dukaan right towards the end where we found some zenab market-isk stuff. So we bought some. There was actually a lady doing threading just like back home and an older lady sewing clothes. This place even had Generation boutique ke outfits! halelujah! im just looking forward to wearing shalwar kameez at work - that will be very cool.